I ran across an article about a woman who has MD and is in a relationship with a man who is able-body. She was asking him questions about their relationship. His answers were well thought out. He was her caregiver too. This was really unique, to say the least. When a person with a disability is in a relationship, the person is usually a man who is disabled.

Motherly Love

A woman is more equipped to take care of a person. I am not trying to be rude, but God gave the woman the ability to have kids and nurture them. You might look at it as a gift, not something that you desire. I am also not saying that this guy cannot be a great caregiver. 

My mom had Alzheimer’s for over ten years and my dad took care of her. He loved her very much and it showed through his actions toward her. For example, she ate really slow. I mean two or three hours for a meal. He used to feed her and watched TV or did some cleaning.

Personal Care Assistants

People usually think that taking care of someone is a job. That is not always the case. If a person does it as a job and does not care for the person with the disability, the aide won’t show compassion toward the person with the disability. I will give you an example of what I am talking about. 

I have currently three personal care assistants working with me. They like working with me because I treat them like friends which they are. We have to give and take while we work together. There is a mutual understanding between us. It should be in every relationship no matter if there is a person with a disability or not. If somebody is always giving and does not receive, the relationship will fall apart. On the other hand, the place where I live has caregivers who do not like their job and it shows. If you pass them in the hall, they don’t notice you. I am not saying that they have to be your friends. 

Living with Love

It is strange how different people react toward people with disabilities. Some people can fall in love with a person with a disability and take care of them like it is nothing. Other people act like it is torture. Do you know why? I truly believe it is how they were brought up. If you were taught that everything is a gift and you should be grateful, they will be compassionated toward the individual.  I am not saying that their life was perfect rather their lives might have been totally hell, but their parents taught them a lot. 

We all know that life is not a piece of cake for sure, but we have to live life with love in our hearts. If we don’t do that, how will we interact with others when we need them to help us? We might keep losing the help that we truly need. Looking back on the article, the couple knows what love is. The guy understands how MD effects a person so she might not have many more years to live.

Talk About Your Disability

If you fall in love, you should be opened with your disability with the person. Yes, it is scary to do because you might not know how this person will react. The person might be alright with what you tell them or they might say wait a minute, I don’t think this is something that I can handle. Sometimes the person might not know what to think, which is alright. You have to start the dialogue sometime. In my experience, it is to start the dialogue a little and let them ask questions when they are ready. You don’t want to force your disability on them. You never know what could happen to your relationship. It might turn into love or not.

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