Last few blog posts I have been talking about school, and college, but all of this was made possible by my parents especially my mom. When kids are growing up, they feel like their mom is too hard on them. I felt the same way and thought she was so hard on me. Now as I look back, without her willingness to fight for me, I would not be where I am now.
When I was under ten years old, she gave all of the opportunities to me to just be a regular kid. She bought me toys that I would like to have. Cars and trucks were my favorite toys to play with along with blocks. She just wanted me to have a fun childhood.
Parents with a child with Cerebral Palsy, have so many things to worry about and have to remember that their child has to have a normal life. What do I mean by normal? For me, normal means that you treat the child as another child. I see parents sometimes treat the child as they were fragile and they have to get whatever they want. Yes, some children don’t have the intellect as another child, but they should be treated normally as possible. I think that you allow your other children to know that their sibling is a regular human being like they are.
Therapy was the most important thing that my mom stressed to me. She took me to therapy twice a week. I was picked up by her from school which was twenty miles away and Easter Seals was another ten or more miles away. If I had two types of therapy, it was two hours. All I am saying is she sacrificed at least five hours out of her day to give me the therapy that I needed.
She had to plan dinner before she left. Yes, moms do a lot for us. As a child, you don’t realize how much your mom did for you.
First Day of School
I remember when I was in fifth grade, it was the first day of school, and the bus was not coming. Mom called the bus company and they were not coming due to some kind of a legal issue. My mom was so frustrated that she put me in the car and threw my chair in the trunk of the car. While she was lifting the chair, she did something to her knee.
She didn’t have her knee fixed because she knew that dad could not take off for work to take care of me. She just lived with the pain and her other knee started to hurt too. Some people today would say that she was dumb for not getting her knee fixed. I say that she did what she had to. To me, that was true love. I think people have no idea what true love is today. When things get hard, they just run. To me, it is just sad.
My Hamstrings Operation
September 1980, I had an operation on my hamstrings, and I was in deep pain for a few weeks after it. I couldn’t sleep at all at night so my mom stayed up with me until I fell asleep. I do understand that moms do stay up with their children when they are sick, but since I couldn’t really tell her where the pain actually was, it was frustrating for both of us.
As I became a man who went to college and got a job, I still took things for granted with my parents. I thought that they would live forever. I know it sounds crazy but it is true.
First Scary News
One day my dad took mom to the doctor because she was forgetting things. The doctor gave her a stress test and after a few minutes, she had to stop. They found out that she needed a triple bypass, and they wanted to do it the next day. I was at work and I had no idea of what was going on. My dad usually picked me up from work so I knew something was right because he wanted to go quickly. So I finished my work. We got into the van and dad started to tell me what happened. Now I was freaking because my mom needed open heart surgery the next day.
When I got home, I first went on Facebook and posted what happened and needed prayers. One friend front college saw the post and came over to our house. She told us that her dad was a retired doctor and he might know a doctor who might be still practicing. Long story short he did knew a doctor who would see my mom at Rush Hospital in Chicago.
Mom had the operation at Rush. That day was very long day and when we could see her, I flipped because she had all the tubes hooked up to her. Dad and I thought she was going to die soon. The nurse said she was doing awesome. I didn’t really believe her, but I was not a doctor or a nurse. I guess I had to believe her and pray. That was what I did.
Second Scary News
A few months later, the doctor said she was all healed so she could start driving again. So she usually met some of her for coffee. She said she would drive herself so she left early so to be safe. A friend of hers called my dad asking if mom was coming. Dad said that she should have been there by now. Everybody was starting to get worried and went out looking out for her.
Dad came to feed me lunch and told me the news. This was my mom we were talking about and I was freaking out. At 5 O’clock, dad came to get me from work and no new news about mom. Dad’s friend said we should call the police and tell them that mom was lost and she had the start of Alzheimer’s. With this information, they could put an alert out about mom. If she didn’t have Alzheimer’s, they would not put out the alert until 24 hours have passed.
Best News Ever
I was going nuts because this was my mom we were talking about and I loved her so much. Around 11 O’clock at night, police called from Wisconsin and they found her safe. Dad and his friend Jim went to get her and one of my friends stayed with me.
When they came home, I woke up and heard my mom talk. It was like she had no clue of what just happened. That scared me because she was a huge part of my life.
As the time went on, she forgot everything. She lived thirteen years with this cruel disease. I don’t know what was going on in me because I saw my mom every single day and it was like I didn’t know this person. She just slept most of the day. As the years went, I wanted to go out as much as possible because I could not want my mom. Seeing my dad taking care of her daily was too hard for me.
Mom’s Last Day Alive
On October 23, 2011, my old boss took me to see my mom. She was about to die any day now. We stayed about an hour and when we were going, dad said that she was looking better. I knew that it was not true at all. When I walked into my condo, the phone rang and it was my dad. Mom just died when we left.
So moms are truly important to their children. I know there are conflicts between mom and kids sometimes, but we have to forgive and forget. And I miss my mom a lot. Love you mom.