Ever wonder why do you have a disability and others don’t? I always wonder that for a long time, and nothing made sense. It was like God gave me Cerebral Palsy for a purpose and I didn’t know why. I did something wrong and God wanted to punish me. I was all right with not walking, but not being able to talk was too much. Yes, I was getting mad at God for doing this to me.
As I was growing up and was planning to go to college, things were changing inside of me. I was meeting people who looked at me as inspiration because I was accomplishing things that were not easy to do for a person without a disability. In my mind, I was not unique so I just was doing what the other students were doing.
When I first realized that my Cerebral Palsy was not a punishment but a gift from God, it was at a retreat at college. It was a three days retreat and by the end of it, students were coming up to me saying that I inspired them, and they really meant it. I was in shock and was wondering if it was actually true. For me, I hear a lot of things that people say to me, but I often think they don’t mean what they say. This time it was a lot different because a few days after the retreat, there was a gathering and I saw the people from the retreat and the larger community. People were talking to me as if I didn’t have a disability.
Still Asking The Question
You might be wondering if I forgot the question why do I have a disability. The answer to this question is no because when I get stress with life, I still get angry with God. I am a human being who has flaws. Sometimes nothing makes sense like now. I need a few personal care assistants for a while now. I don’t know what to do because I have ads up in different places and nothing is happening. Yet, I know that God gave me Cerebral Palsy for a reason, but why is He letting me struggle like this? I don’t know but I have to trust in Him that I will find someone soon.
I do believe that I will always ask why do I have a disability although I know the answer, which is to let people see me have the strength to do the things that God wants me to do. Since I am a human being, I don’t fully understand what He has in mind for me to do. It is not easy to accept our disabilities and everyone has a disability of some kind or another. Do you ask why do you have a disability?
Everybody Has a Disability
You are wondering why did I say the last sentence. I used the word disability loosely here. Your disability might be drinking, porn, or even work. Whatever your disability is, we can support each other although it might be difficult. I know that we can get through it if we want it. Let’s just press through the hard times and hope for the best.